The Power of Silence

On a recent blog post that my daughter wrote, the following quote jumped out at me, not only because it was boxed with a picture behind it but because it “shouted” to me. “The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” (Ram Dass) Silence is a wonderful thing. Often in coaching the “white space” of silence allows the client to think without interruption; to reflect on a question; and to clarify an issue in his mind. Too often people want to fill the silence because it may feel uncomfortable or seems to be overly long. In her book, “Fierce Conversations”, Susan Scott speaks about the importance of asking powerful questions and then standing back and listening. Throughout her books and her TED Talk, she relates stories about the importance of listening—listening to understand, listening to learn, listening to support—to the person you are with, whether they are a colleague, a spouse, a partner, a child, etc. Give silence a chance to allow the space for thinking and reflecting on the conversation’s...

A question of time

Recently, I ran into a young executive who I knew as a student and have seen occasionally over the years after he entered the business world. We had spoken about coaching a number of months ago. In seeing me, he apologized for not getting back to me with the reason of being busy—it’s crazy for him at work with new responsibilities and at home with a young active family—and not having the time for coaching. He did say that when it was less hectic, he would get back to me about being coached. To me, coaching is like advertising. People often do not invest in advertising when business is slow. When I was publishing a magazine, I often heard “We’ll talk to you about advertising when we are busier and have the money.” Seems to me that the reason for spending on advertising and marketing is when you are trying to grow the business and keep it top of mind. In a similar vein, the time to invest in coaching is not when you necessarily have an abundance of time but when you are overwhelmed and not clear of the goal or vision. The busy-ness has gotten in the way of the business. Too many ideas, activities and not enough time to focus on your business and your position in the business. Investing an hour every couple or few weeks to slow down and give attention to what’s going on in the business is an investment in yourself and your business. With a new clarity and focus, your job will become more rewarding, your time will be used more...

What are your values?

One of the things that I ask clients in our first session is what is important to them. What motivates them in their work and life? Too often when we feel tired or in a rut, it is because our values are “out of sync” with what we are doing. When a client explores their world of work or life in general, I will ask them to think of their core values and how those values show up in what they do or want to accomplish. I believe that our passion for life and work is driven by these values. When we are living our values and they are in line with our work and our daily life, there will be a sense of warmth or happiness that we feel.We will feel fulfilled with a sense of contribution to something that is meaningful to us. You often hear people say they do not like their job. They say there is no satisfaction in what they are doing. I believe that feeling comes back to our core values being “out of whack ” with the job. They are feeling unfulfilled, lacking some meaning. What are your core values? What makes you tick? How do they line up with what you are doing? How do they fit in with your future...