Gaining Trust

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Ernest Hemingway In his book, The Speed of Trust, Steven M.R. Covey writes that there are five waves of trust-Self, Relationship, Organizational, Market, and Societal Trust. Using the analogy of a wave formed from a pebble hitting the surface of a pond, the primary source is Self Trust from which emanates the other four waves. Although all five waves are important, this month’s column will focus on the second wave, relationship trust, and give some ideas on ways to encourage this trust in your various interactions and interpersonal connections. With a strong foundation in this second wave of trust, the stronger trust bonds will strengthen your organization. As a leader or business owner, it is important to understand that the strength of your organization and your relationships are based upon trust. It should also be noted that trust is a two-way street, for there to be a truly trustworthy relationship, whether with your colleagues, subordinates, customers, trust needs to be reciprocal. You need people to trust you as much as you need to trust them. So, how might you go about engendering trust amongst your employees, colleagues and others? One very powerful way, as Hemingway says, is for you to put your faith or trust in people if you are to know them as trustworthy. A way to extend this trust is to show them they are truly part of the team, and the business, by involving them in conversations that demonstrate you appreciate their role in the success of the organization. Here are...

Are You in a Rut?

Do you feel you are not getting anywhere fast? Do you feel that you are in a rut and can’t seem to find your way out? We might use the analogies of being “In a rut,” “Stuck in the muck,” or “Not getting off the treadmill.” Whatever the analogy, it’s difficult and frustrating when you feel you aren’t getting anywhere, proceeding as planned, or reaching your goal. First, you need to ask yourself why are you in a rut? It is important to honestly figure out the reasons for why you are in this predicament and stuck on that never-ending treadmill. To answer this question, you may need to ask yourself another; how important is this to me? If it’s not a priority to you, then, perhaps, it is not where you need to be focusing your time or energy. Author Maria Popova suggests that if you are attempting to do things out of guilt or prestige then you probably should not be doing them at all. In other words, if you are not doing it for yourself nor have the passion for it, then it’s probably not a priority for you. Your values and desires need to be truly aligned with your actions to move forward and succeed. Now, assuming that that the project is important to you, it’s time to use some questions to kick-start or restart the process. What’s holding you back? Sometimes the overall scope of a project is daunting and causing you to feel over-whelmed. Other times it’s the fear of failure or the unknown. The “rut” is known and may feel comfortable. The...

Practice Makes Perfect

“Practice makes perfect,” is an old saying, that we all have heard many times over the years. In looking at these three words, two questions come to mind. What does practice look like? What does perfect mean? You see, you may habitually practice, whether it is the piano, a gymnastic routine, or preparing a business report or a sales presentation. Practicing does not always mean that you are practicing the correct way and therefore improving. Sometimes it feels like you are going through the motions and not progressing at all. It is when there is mindful, deliberate practice that improvement is realized. In her book, GRIT The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth speaks of four basics to the idea of deliberate practice. A clearly defined stretch goal with full concentration and effort, followed by immediate and informative feedback, and all are repeated with reflection and refinement. Let’s look at what Duckworth means and how you can apply it to the daily practice of your business profession, craft, sport, or whatever is important to you. The idea of a stretch goal is not necessarily the ultimate goal. It is what you strive for and are challenged by. It can be a short term goal within your longer term dream. What does the route to that stretch goal look like? What are the steps you need to take to attain that goal? The practice needs to be deliberate with the utmost of concentration and energy applied. It needs to be designed in a way that the goal has been broken down into smaller steps and each step leading to...

What do you expect from your staff?

This is from Coach’s Corner in the June edition of my monthly eMag The Leading Edge. Recently, with a number of my coaching clients, we discussed the topic of expectations. This led to the conclusion that clear expectations are important in the relationship between leader and staff. What happens when our expectations are not clear? Even if we think that our expectations are clear in our minds, often we do not see them in the day-to-day actions of our staff. Turns out that what is clear to us is murky to others which leads to frustrations arising on both sides. Management is upset that certain things are not happening and staff is confused as to what is really expected of them. One of my observations is that there is a division between real and perceived expectations. People cannot read your mind. You need to have conversations with your staff to ensure you are all on the same page with respect to your expectations. Here are some thoughts of ensuring that expectations are clear and understood throughout your company or department. First, you need to clearly define the expectations you have of your employees. What is important to you? What is important to the company? What is the reason behind each expectation? It is important as the leader to articulate your expectations and ensure you have clearly thought out what you ask of your staff. Next you need to realize that simply posting a list of expectations does not ensure they will be followed. To truly incorporate them into the daily routine of your organization, they need to be repeated...

Ideas for Becoming a Better Listener

This is from Coach’s Corner in the June edition of my monthly eMag The Leading Edge. Recently, I was presenting a workshop for managers. As I coach people I find that most challenges, especially with managing and working with people, surround communication. And, at the heart of true communication is listening not speaking. To fully understand other people, we need to truly listen without judgment, without jumping in with comments, without thinking what we are going to say next, and without filling in the blanks. Here are some questions you might ask yourself to see if you are a good listener. Do you avoid interrupting when others are speaking? Are you able to give the other person your full attention? Do you ask open-ended questions to ensure you understand their position? Can you listen without giving advice or solving their problem? Are you able to restate what they have said accurately so they know you truly have listened? If you honestly didn’t answer these questions in terms of usually or almost always, then you may find some of these ideas helpful in becoming a better listener. Why Am I Talking? This is a good question to ask yourself when you are in a conversation. You can’t talk and listen at the same time. WAIT is the handy acronym, I use, to remember to limit my own talking. How would you feel in their situation? Often to be a better listener, it’s important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Empathy goes a long way to understanding another person’s viewpoint. Using questions that are open-ended help us to have...