by Paul Abra | May 2, 2016 | Journal
This is my Coach’s Corner Column in the May edition of my monthly eMag The Leading Edge. “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books) Often the barrier to people starting a new business or changing their career is the fear of failure. The real question is what will you feel if you do not start or change? What does that failure look like? I recently read some entrepreneurs’ thoughts on failure. Many talked about learning from their failures. In our society, we may say we learn from our failures but do we? Often we are risk averse, therefore we do not to take some risks that may result in failure or success. How often have we heard of some well-known entrepreneurs or business people who “failed” many times on their way to success? It does not mean we invite failure into our lives; it does mean that our relationship to failure needs to change from shame of the failure to learning from it. Here are some questions which may help you overcome the fear of failure. What would it look like if you didn’t make the change in your career, or start the new business? What does failure look like? What is the price of inaction? It is worth remembering that regrets can be worse than failures. Most entrepreneurs would tell you that the real failure is not trying something. What do you fear? How may that fear be holding you up from achieving some great business or life goals? Often, when you...
by Paul Abra | Apr 6, 2016 | Journal
This post is from The Coach’s Corner which is part of the March issue of my monthly eMagazine, The Leading Edge, for small business owners and entrepreneurs. Both Simon Sinek’s book Start With Why and Amanda Lang’s The Power of Why focus on the importance of looking closely at what you are doing, either as a business or personally. They stress that WHY is a powerful word which provides a foundation for business or personal decisions. It is the “raison d’être,” the reason for being. Last month I wrote about how the shift in words can create a shift in thinking. I looked at how a shift occurs when you replace “BUT” with “AND” in statements. Use of WHY questions in different contexts will also create a kind of shift. Both a shift in your mind and a shift in the direction a conversation may go. For instance, asking another person WHY can be very different from asking yourself WHY. When you hear, “Why did you do that?” which is a classic question from parents, teachers, bosses and others, you react defensively. The perception, whether conscious or not, is that there is a judgment, criticism, or disapproval of the action. If the question was rephrased as, “What was important to you to do that?” This shifts the thinking from defensive to being more open. The questioner is expressing curiosity; trying to find out more about the behaviour without causing defensive flags to go up. Oftentimes, simply reframing a question from Why…? to What…? allows for a dialogue to ensue and encourage a better understanding between two people, whether it...
by Paul Abra | Mar 4, 2016 | Journal
This post is from The Coach’s Corner which is part of the March issue of my monthly eMagazine, The Leading Edge, for small business owners and entrepreneurs. Often we get stuck in how we say things not realizing the impact of the words on others. Think back to a time when someone was giving you feedback about something you had done. It begins sounding nice and supportive and then the word “BUT” is inserted. You know what happens. You hear the word “BUT” and you think, ‘Oh oh, what’s next?’ You suddenly feel a little deflated and may actually forget what the first part was about. BUT is one of those words that shut down communication. Rather than being supportive and encouraging, it is competing for the two truths in a statement. Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, suggests that we substitute the word BUT with AND. She talks about multiple realities competing when the word BUT is used. There are two truths, I own one and you own the other, and when BUT is inserted there is a loser. “I love what you’ve done, but…” “I love what you’ve done and…” See how different the start of these two statements feel without even knowing what’s next. “I know you want an extension, but the deadline is approaching.” This statement contains two truths where the second competes with and overrides the first. No negotiation or even consideration. “I know you want an extension and the deadline is approaching.” This statement comprises two truths of which both are balanced. What can we figure out here? It may seem awkward at...
by Paul Abra | Feb 1, 2016 | Journal
This post is from The Coach’s Corner which is part of the February issue my monthly eMagazine, The Leading Edge, for small business owners and entrepreneurs. As owners and leaders, we often can get sidetracked with seemingly urgent yet unimportant tasks in our businesses. We get hung up on the things that distract us from the important job of working ON our business. Urgent is not always important. We need to focus on important questions and making them urgent to further our business and career goals. Last month you were asked 6 questions to help you get started on your most important resolution for 2016. The first question asked you to look ahead to the end of this year and figure out what is the most important thing that you want to achieve? This, then, becomes the lens through which you focus your actions and strategies. It provides the impetus to spend time working ON your business or career, not just IN it. Keep your important goal prominently displayed for you to see each and every day. Whether it is a one-page business plan incorporating actions and strategies to accomplish your goal, or a statement of your vision, it is important to keep it at the forefront of your mind in whatever way works best for you. Make it a habit to write down your weekly intentions. What do you want to accomplish this week? How do those intentions fit into your grand scheme of things? How are they related to your goal? At the end of the week take time to reflect on them by asking what were...
by Paul Abra | Jan 25, 2016 | Journal
This post is from The Coach’s Corner which is part of the January issue my monthly eMagazine, The Leading Edge, for small business owners and entrepreneurs. As we enter a new year, we often write down or at least think up a number of New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions may be personal, career or business related. Too often we do not fulfill these resolutions because they seem overwhelming and hard to achieve. In coaching it is not so much about the answers—we have the answers within each of us—it is about the questions. The questions keep us thinking about outcomes, goals and successes we desire. The questions help shift our thinking patterns to explore the variety of options that are available to us. The questions assist us in keeping the focus on the goal. What are the important questions that will help you to keep that important resolution? With each important question that is asked of you, there are supplementary questions that will help you zero in on what you truly want. Here are six questions with some related questions to help you get started on your most important resolution. 1) At the end of this year, what is the most important thing that you want to achieve? This is about your vision for your or your company’s future and it is important to consider one resolution at a time. Subsequent questions may be: Why is this important to you? What does this success look like? 2) How ready are you to take action? This speaks to your commitment and willingness to take some risks and leads to some...
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